GHOST WALKING

Its not like I didn’t know

the world was a shit show

I knew the path we had travelled

and which way we were to go

I thought you was my friend

and that you’d understand

Because for 8 years

we held each others hand

So what I don’t get is

how its turned so very sour

In this world we both know

is a deluging shit shower

I thought you was my ride or die

but the ride almost killed me dead

and I didn’t understand the madness

you had going on inside your head

I loved you so simply,

because I saw a kindred souI

I really really thought that we

Could share some of the same goals

I held you in my loving arms,

and gave you my kind whole heart

But your power and domination

games just tore my soul apart

And I’d have understood my friend,

if I knew it would do me good

But I’ve already walked that journey

before we spent time in the wood

And I tried to help you glean

the wisdom of your life

And I agreed to tie the knot

and to be your loving wife

However, we had different ideas

of what love should be

Not the games of master and servant

Gloating with voracious glee

And I never wanted to be walking

in the sorrow of your shame

And I didn’t believe that love

was just a childish game

I know I was a fire

that could burn up the world so fast

And I know that I have ghosts

and shadows in my past

But did you really have to judge

so hard on all my acts

When you was never in those stories

and you left me on my jacks?

Did you never believe that I

had learned life’s lesson hard and well?

And did you never stop to think that

the long past secrets I couldn’t tell

Will have wounded us so very much

and tainted the love we share

My friend don’t you recognise

that It wasn’t me who didn’t care?

I’ve a heart full of memories of,

eight years of fun and glee

When we went a wandering and a roaming

and singing out for free

And I never ever want to lose

the memory of your face

Or the way you touch my soul

with your beauty and your grace

I loved you simply with a simple heart,

my Divinely simple friend

I Loved you so completely

and it destroyed me in the end

Love is not about surrender to

one who cannot see the goal

Its not about the dark and light

and how we grow our soul

Its loving who we are accepting,

every day the softly dawning light

And its about the time we share perfecting,

and holding each other in the night

So when you kept pushing me away,

and I had to ask for a loving hug

Don’t you think that I took that,

as fatal blow and snub?

Don’t you think that I knew,

that you never loved me true,

When you were looking out on Tindr

for a blond that you once knew?

I never ever wanted another man

In my soul and heart

I never took another body into mine

right from the Summer start

You were the only one

That had me at my best

And yet it wasn’t good enough

and you wanted all the rest

So the sadness crept into my heart

and I began to doubt

The love that you professed

And screamed so loud to shout

And the accusing and abusing

that both can claim the guilt

Shattered all the hopes and dreams

that we together built

And now I am in pieces

that our journey’s at an end

And I am sad that for the hurt you feel,

and the hand I cannot lend

For at the end of it all is

a just sweet bitter tasting fruit

Because you never stopped

being the ass hole in the meat suit

Who tried to live the godly life

when his heart was never there

And left his soul behind

in the glass eyed bogus stare

Looking into space

like there wasn’t any time

And looking over Loves shoulder

for her sister next in line.

So my dreams and soul are shattered

as you curtly silence my eternal love

And I won’t get fooled again

by the iron fist in velvet glove.

©Louana May 2018